So much of the time after are first date centered on the phone but by this time i was so smitten already and i think she knew it. i believe Shawnie was flattered and intrigued but had been hurt so much in her previous relationship that it was almost impossible to consider Love again, but i think no matter what she says she was more in than out from the beginning too. well anyways we finally agreed to see each other again she asked me if i would like to join her at church i was so excited. for anybody who might follow this story it might sound like a contradiction. keep in mind we are people and subject to many influences. truthfully the same heart that always is looking for true love also yearns for a deep abiding relationship with God, and at this juncture i believe it to be a resurrected Christ. The only thing i have been missing is the deeply personal part of that equation but that would soon change too. i was so nervous and arrived at church early found a seat were she told me she sat. i wanted to see her so much everyone who came in i shot a glance quickly to see hope and then dejection. oh and finally she arrived and came and sat next to me my palms were sweating. we did hold hands which was great but i could not calm down. we went through the whole worship and afterward they told everyone to do this meet and greet portion we stopped and looked at each and just fell into this crushing hug that felt like it would never end and who would want it too. at that instant all my fears and nervousness disappeared. I loved my princess completely i was all in. My baby so new to recovery and starting again to be a real parent to her four year old son Kobe. for anybody who has the pleasure of new recovery from alcohol or drug addiction it is an incredibly trying adventure especially early on. she was so absolutely committed to do all the right things so at first even though we would have liked too we had too many responsibilities too ever just devote ourselves too just each other and to this day we would not have it any other way. the kids always come first. Since we had too see each sparingly i always look forward to seeing her just like that second date. it's true. also that very same church became central to everything we valued and still is watching my princess worship Jesus gave me an indication that my relationship could be more personal. i did spend some time questioning myself and trying to talk myself out of this crazy situation. just a crazy old man who had lost his marbles. I ran done all the legitimate reasons to walk away. it did not matter to me at all. the creeping thought of my obvious insanity did follow me around for awhile but it did become even more obvious later that a certain destiny has followed us through this whole affair. stay tuned