Love Always Wins. i am a fifty father of nine children not all mine, but my love for them has never been restricted by there blood origin. i have been married three times twice to the same woman who i am currently in the process of getting a divorce from we have been married for over fifteen years we had one son together, Bryan who is sixteen and a absolute miracle from god. Stacie and i reunited in such a way that the hands of God appeared to move mountains to touch us. long story short too much baggage and trust issues that stood in are way to overcome. i believe that love does always win but you have to have a heart before you who no matter what has the ears to hear and the courage to respond to the impossible, they will all come with baggage but the must have enough courage to decide in spite of all the pain life brings them they have to say yes. now the real beginning nine months ago when Stacie sat me down and told me it was over and she wanted a divorce, i knew it had been over for about four or five months God gave me our final swan song of this huge outpouring of love, letters and songs a complete infatuation. this lasted for over two months and then it dawned on me one day that no matter how long and hard i poured into this vessel she would never be convinced that i loved her and one day no matter what i did the love was gone. five months later we arrived at the inevitable. even though this came as no real surprise the reality of this circumstances were of course very challenging. i am a member of AA and have been sober for over twenty seven years. i had not really been active for a long time but i returned and began the process of healing, which actually started about two years earlier. another story about my dad. maybe some day i will share that too. anyways once i returned to AA i quickly realized that most of my marriage with Stacie was a long journey of disappearing for me, i mistakenly endorsed and embraced the idea that there was something wrong with me and spent so much time thinking about about who and what i was supposed to be so Stacie would love me, i really never became very good at being a fraud. we were always beset with tension and conflicts i was often accused of being a liar, and yes of course i was. intuitively I Knew it wasn't safe. as i meander it became clear to me i needed to not be a secret anymore. so honesty and transparency became my mantra very scary for my hidden self but very quickly i really developed some peace and really started to love my imperfect self. i started painting after over twenty years. my pieces are always a window into my soul, if i am not free all i create is mud. all the work i have done since that day has been some of the best of my life and very cathartic for me freedom at last. even though i was not very good at this love thing. through honesty and transparency i was free i rejoiced, i was not driven to a woman on any real level they all looked like a prison too me. remember the word prison. this is the start of putting up or shutting up are you really honest are you really can you respond to Love. At this time along came my princess in the most unexpected way, my life has not been the same since i have learned more about and true love in the last eight months than i had learned in the previous fifty years. tune in soon for chapter two will arrive shortly