putting down your flag

Amazing that is what I am. Because God says so.I know this through the Revelation of the holy spirit in my life. Just understanding and feeling his presence is the most remarkable thing that has ever happened facilitated by my little princess joining me in this thing called life. Yes so many tough trials that the lord has carried me through over this last year. All of them have drawn me closer to my beautiful creator. I am so grateful less of me and more of him every step of the way. I am able to love without reservation today. I am able to cherish and adore my princess without fear. I have a love and true compassion for everybody I see and have been given a gift to share with so many I meet. I have a peace that is beyond all comprehension to me. All these are gracious gifts from my father those and many more. As I walk forward I am confronted with the next self imposed restriction in my way. It's my view of me how it relates to how picture myself financially. To be honest for over a month i have been dragging my feet on a great opportunity because I am a difficult time thinking of myself good enough to do this even though truthfully it looks like a perfect fit for me. I praise God for surrounding me with great people to encourage and help me and also many miracles too. I begin this part of my journey affirming God's view of me rather than my own negative self talk. I am amazing loving capable talented and blessed. God made me. Loves me and wants whats best for me. As long as i am thinking and doing for others I am in God's will. Loving Him Myself and others. He said if I do this it will be well with me. He said it, I believe it, that's enough. I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. JER 29:11..........................so do we short change God or do we short change ourselves? likely a combination but ultimately we are not enjoying the life he has prepared for us. God is distant and we are struggling daily with fear and doubt wondering why we never seem to enjoy all the rich blessings we are sure he would want for us. I believe it stems from our own self image. Everything as we walk closer to our creator requires honest evaluation and courage. We are more than likely confronting vaporous demons and ill conceived lies, There is no bogey man. live free and be happy because God want me too.

halfway there

My princess and I are now halfway home. She will be out in six more months maybe five if everything goes right. The ache i feel in my heart is beyond description. The love i feel grows everyday. I have only eyes for her and her alone. I have become the Love expert, but really the difference in me compared to anyone else is only courage and i trust Jesus. i accept myself. God loves me and he made me this way. he has a purpose that i am supposed to live out. Loving what he has made and loving the people I meet. With My princess he gave me the charge to love her above all others and I count that as my greatest legacy. My ability to love is so beyond the man I once was. I have only one real message Love, and do it with all your heart, hold nothing back. It's are only hope we never have more power than when we love this way. I can feel how my princess is doing all the time. She is the most spoiled person in that jail and I am literally frustrated i can't do more. Love gives and gives never tires or grows weary. Is not afraid and is constantly courageous. Six months and still my heart aches and this sadness never leaves me. I have peace that goes beyond comprehension. In the last six months i have had my princess sentenced for a year in the county hell hole, i have had the people watching her son refuse me access to him for over four months, i have lost my Job, i have been told to not come back to the church we loved. i have witnessed my ex-wife start drinking and the kids close by have had to see that. She has been on a year long campaign to bad mouth me at every opportunity, and just recently my divorce with her was final. What would you do and how would you react? i know how the old me would have. it might have included a single bullet. I am who I say I am. Love Always wins and it does. God has gifted me with the ability to return all this calamity with Love, Really yes really. is he insane you might ask. Fair enough watch me closely I am who I say I am. Over the last three months i have had the great honor of sharing this simple message of Love to so many people usually followed by those grateful yearning tears of relief. My observation is that most of this world lacks Love we are wounded broken and fractured our hearts crave it and our souls search for it. The culmination of all those who hurt us is a false distortion of our real beauty. we make one decision after another to shield ourselves from any further pain. a self created prison which we built to protect us which it fails miserably at anyway, but does cut us off from real love and real happiness. a life predicated on safety but none exists. but we live in lonely darkness to afraid to ever come out as we build one more shield to protect us, but all the flaming arrows hit us anyway. manage and control, fear and doubt and such despair. it eventually seems hopeless, and as long as we do it this way it will be. i choose to put it all on the line remove all the shields and live and love today as if there is no tomorrow. like i said we are never more powerful than when we love this way. at this point i hardly ever think of myself and don't care what anyone thinks of me. i am free finally. love always wins. Thank you my little princess.