Reflections

It is the twelfth day of June. I just got back from the court house and filed the last paper work for my divorce. Stacie is now on the clock twenty days for to respond. i have no idea how this all plays out. it is all in God's hands anyway. Interesting though when i initially filed the paperwork i left feeling really good and in the past when i crossed this bridge i always felt like a failure. Actually feel liberated and Free, weird though i have never been better and my life is completely in shambles in some sense. Money is so tight and the Divorce is out there looming my princess is in jail and i can't see Kobe right now. For any of you is a christian it would seem that the lord would find me in disfavor, i certainly understand how you would come to that conclusion. If i was looking in from the outside i might think the same thing. Divorce is such an intimidating scenario for most people to be around it scares them likely because they have issues in their own lives. Easier to condemn and dismiss me as a sinner than really see that God's hand is guiding me directing me to do everything i am doing, yes much of this is unfortunate but God knew i would not likely have learned and grown to the degree i have if i had not lived this life this way. we can agree to disagree if you have philosophical differences with me i understand. I believe he has such an unbelievable adventure in store for me that at some point he will restore my credibility, which i don't to deserve or have apart from him anyways. It's great to attach value to some sense of security and a certain degree of financial stability and pat ourselves on the back like that means we are redeemed by our good fortune, but i believe that all that false worldly value often can be are trap. I have no idea if this applies to anyone in particular. i am not the judge of any one's heart our the critic of there journey. I examine myself daily and reflect on whether not i have peace in my life or not. In order to do so accurately i need to know who and what i am, and even though i have flaws accept me just the way i am. Honestly with all that is currently in my life i have so much peace and very little fear. I trust and really be live that the holy spirit is guiding me directing me. That really is my final judge no other explanation needed no defense has or could be given. Jesus Loves me and has a plan for my life, I know the plans i have for declares the Lord plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.Jer 29:11 No condemnation in Christ i am a new creation and he loves me.